Bend (beyond ropes)

I crossed the line.  The earth did not shatter. 

That line was my SAFE line on the scale.  Kind of stupid, but I had to CBT some sense into my thinking and writing it out into poem form really helped.

My fears were delusional.  I do NOT NEED a hundred plus pound “cushion” to protect myself anymore. 

Facts are:
1.  I am not a defenseless child anymore.
2.  I am an old woman now.  Time itself is a blessing.
3.  No one has tried to rape me when I weighed over 100 lbs.  No one has tried to force me over 200 lbs.
4.  Age & fat do not eliminate all unwanted advances, but there is a definite inverse math thing going on.  The older/heavier you are, the less often a woman has to deal with that. 
5.  I can and have warded off unwelcome advances, so telling myself that I don’t know how to deal with that bull is a lie.  Quite simply, I hate being hit on.  I don’t want to have to deal with any of that.

Do I have sexual issues?  No, I have issues with total jerks, drunken assholes, and pedophiles. 

It is funny how the mind works.  I have hovered just above that “safe” line all summer, self-sabatoging (not always conciously) every time I was about to cross it until I realized what was going on.  So stupid to have so much nonsense attached to a particular number.

I’m not scared anymore.  I don’t “need” fat anymore.  Crossing the line or maybe writing the poem “Ropes” brought peace and clarity. 

OH… by the way, having a clear head is wonderful.  I have made some life altering decisions, including a relocation.

Yes, I am moving! 

It is not a 100% done deal yet… but I have already given notice to my current landlord and started downsizing and packing up to move to a smaller space in a much desired location.  It will be a life changer.  I don’t want to say too much about it yet because it’s not a done deal yet, don’t want to jinx it.

Well, that’s what I have been up to… life is about to spin on a dime with some much anticipated changes and once again, I am slow to blog and very behind on blog reading.

Yo, anyone local want to buy a large mosaic lady for their flower garden?  If so, make me an offer… my life is about to spin on a dime and I can’t take her with me. 

That’s an old photo from before she went outdoors.  I can snap more if anyone is interested… or come see in person.  She requires a dedicated dolly to move her, just wrap her in a heavy blanket and strap her down, roll her on out.  She’s been moved 3 times, twice in moving vans.  The last time, it took two men to lift her onto a pickup truck. She’s heavy, a bit crude, but belongs where the sun can sparkle on her glass, surrounded by flowers.

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Cups & Meta

Wrapping up unfinished art projects here, including this colored pencil and watercolor piece called “Cups” shown above (cell phone photo snapped before glass was added to the re-claimed frame).  It is 8×16 inches or roughly 9×17 framed, if you are in need of long skinny artwork.  Available for view or sale at Metamorphosis in Struthers, Ohio.

This mosaic tile is also at Metamorphosis now.  Did you see it on display at the YSU Festival of the Arts?  Tiles for the public art project were laid out like quilt squares near the rock.  Here is a photo snapped when I was there. 

I was surprised by the lack of entries this year, not as many as in years before.  I hope more people participate next year as it is fun and I always like to see what others do with the object provided.  Maybe some people shy away as they think they have to be an “Artist” with a capital A to play.  I happen to be an artist of the camp of the little a, who laughs at, snoody attitudes.  Anyone can make art. 

Yes, the copper/steel floral piece called “Art Grows in Youngstown” was in the back row (the only 3D scupture/assemblage there) but I accidentally snapped the photo too low, cut the height off.  That piece is also at Metamorphosis, look for it in the window if you happen to drive by.  Or better yet, stop and wander in during open studio hours.

Metamorphosis is an artist co-op with shared studio space located in a store front in downtown Struthers, but it is not like your average art gallery type place.  It is pretty laid back.  Anyone can wander in during open studio hours on Thursday and Saturday nights to check out the art on display, watch artists at work, or kick back and enjoy coffee and conversation.  Feel free to bring your own art supplies and play in a creative environment, check place out and talk to Becky, if interested in becoming a member.  Meta needs more artist members (and/or art sales) to be self-sufficient.  I plug Meta because I am a member and I want to see it keep going.  This is Becky’s dream, Meta has a purpose, but I will let Becky tell you about that… I believe in her dream.

Monday nights at Meta are “open mic” poetry nights, which is fun and also open to the public.  The crowd is friendly and not too big, so it is a great practice place if you want to get comfy reading your poetry out loud.  I read my first poem there last Monday.  It wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be.

Oh well… thanks for viewing my art.  If you are local to the Mahoning Valley, I hope you come to Meta and see it in person.

Tuesday’s Masquerade

This is one of the two drawings I submitted for entry into a local Women Artists show.

I’m kind of glad it was rejected because I like it much better now that I trimmed it down to 11×14 inches to re-use an old 16×20 mat and frame. Otherwise, I would have had to take it to a frame shop and lay down some serious cash. (A frame shop quoted $200 to frame one of my larger drawings.) Even DIY with a new frame can be costly. By re-using freebies and thrift shop finds, I can pass the savings on.

The original name of this piece was “Mask” but after discussions with my sister, we agree that “Tuesday’s Masquerade” is a better title. She looks a little witchy in a Fat Tuesday carnival kind of way.

Thank you for viewing my art!

PHOTO: snapped outside hanging on my neighbor’s fence, with not too much reflection going on. I should have photographed it before framing. If you live local and want to see it in person, let me know.