How to Steal a Light Bulb

A primer for thieves:  Unscrew your burnt out light bulb. Take it with you. Replace the working light bulb you are stealing with your old burnt out light bulb.  Staff will think “it burnt out” and screw in a new one.  They may not even notice that it had been swapped out because, odds are, you had stolen the burnt out bulb, too.

If you steal without replacing the bulb, the crime is too obvious and management responds by not screwing in new ones.  (They tried covering bulbs with protective cages, but dumb criminals stole those, too.) Because of light bulb thefts, our trash rooms are now unlit.  We have to take our trash into small dark, windowless rooms that feel really dank and dirty.  Now our elevators are occasionally dimmed because light bulb thieves have moved on to alternate sources.  This is affecting the quality of life for all tenants, so if you are going to steal light bulbs, do it in a way that brings no harm to anyone else.


This public service message is brought to you by tenants who, shockingly, actually buy their own bulbs. Thanks for reading.