In a stunning turn of events, Youngstown groundhog Marty Marmion refused to leave the warmth of the burrow on the morning of February 2, 2018.
“I don’t understand,” said the homeowner. “Marty was supposed to come out and predict the weather. That’s what groundhogs do. Now how are we to know if we are going to have an early Spring?”
A request to interview Marty was ignored, however an invisible prepared statement was found tacked near the entrance to the burrow.
“It’s cold,” the pretend note said. “Humans can look for their own damn shadows.”
We will keep an eye out for paw prints in the snow and update if Marty decides to venture out.
Odds are good that Marty will not emerge from hibernation before Spring, as the groundhog looked to be fatter than usual last Fall. We may learn that Marty is short for Martha instead of Martin.
Thanks for reading!