Drunk Ass Tourists

Did you have a fun Memorial Day Weekend?

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If you came downtown to party on Saturday night and got so drunk that you thought the bricks behind this “bush” was a good secluded spot to squat, then you should have turned around and looked up.

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Yes, I am the one who spooked your dumb ass by yelling, “Hey! You cannot pee in our yard.”

Got to love the way sound travels in the concrete canyons… there was no one else out there except that ditsy drunk woman and her party friends so I knew it had to sound like a loud, authoritative voice from above. I laughed myself silly after yelling out the window because there was no hesitation. They booked down towards Boardman Street.

Rule #1 for city life: be aware of your surroundings. I’m sure the old guys would have enjoyed the view but come on… your piss would stink for days.  Women who stumble down the street drunk are also easy marks for anything. If your friends had any sense, the designated driver (if you had one) would have fetched the car and picked your ass up at the bar. Or better yet, called a taxi.

This public service announcement is brought to you by crazy old women who live downtown… have fun, be safe… and don’t pee in our yard. 

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