Pandora’s Box

pandora

Apologies not forthcoming, I opened Pandora’s Box. Inside was this stack of paper.

It was started as a little journal entry when my mind was troubled. I wrote until words stopped flowing, then I boxed it up as a rough draft and put it away.

I opened Pandora’s Box this morning because my mind is troubled once again. The only difference is I am older, maybe a little wiser, and certainly colder. Words that stung years ago cannot make me flinch.

What bothers me is knowing the impact those words have on our parents. It sickens me to the point where I have not slept. I forgot to eat yesterday. Upsetting our parents is what upsets me.

So, who am I protecting by not finishing this book?

 

Peace Piece

It has occurred to me that if I only post when I am irritated or in one of “those” moods, the overall perception has a negative vibe. As if I am irritated or in a foul mood all the time. Look at the dates. Time passes… life goes on quite peacefully content in between.

Yes, I use words to purge my mind.
I use words to gather my thoughts.

I think out loud on paper, sometimes virtual paper, writing my way around the back forty of my mind. I sift and sort in a search for understanding. Sometimes, I need to evaluate, form an opinion, or draw a conclusion. And then again, sometimes, I am just lost on the other side.

On the flip side: if I only posted upbeat happy-happy joy-joy flowery fluff, I would question my sanity and wonder if I lost my own tentative grasp on reality.

I shall try to strike a chord, mix it up for balance.

Well, I best get ready… the clock is ticking and I am going to “Play in May for the YWCA!” at the Senior Center on Fifth Avenue where I will laugh and have a great time making art with friends.

And that is what this blog hasn’t shown for awhile… I laugh out loud and often, savor peace and harmony. I see life as more comedy than drama, and not like modern sit-coms or so darn goofy that it should only appeal to nine year old boys. I like old comedy and humor spun by a play on words.

The Last Mother

On this, the official Mother’s Day in the year of our Lord 2015, I hereby resign from mothering grown ass people who are incapable of tending to their own basic needs.

In other words: “Buy your own rolls and roll your own.”

That’s rolls, as in toilet paper and cigarettes. How hard is it to comprehend? If you use a toilet, you will need some toilet paper. Ditto for smokers and tobacco products.

All I am saying is, jack it up the list of your personal priorities!

Now there is a difference between someone rolling off the last square a couple days before payday (maybe they had company or an unexpected virus) and someone who refuses to buy their own. It galls me because I have given this man MORE double rolls of good toilet paper out of my last pack than I have used myself. It REALLY galls me because that man just got his Social Security check on the first, blew all his money on God only knows what, and didn’t buy any toilet paper.

So, I did the “Elaine” thing… nope, sorry, can’t spare a square.

Okay. I wanted to say that… but, it came out backwards. I told him that I can spare some squares, but not a whole roll. He declined; said he would ask someone else.

See? That’s the thing. I can QUIT doing this mothering crap and they will find someone else, just as how they hit someone else up before me. It is a never ending saga. People who live by the Bum’s Rule (never buy for yourself what you can get off someone else) are NOT going to change. The only person affected by my resignation is me. They will survive, sink or swim, without me.

By the way, it is NOT just toilet paper, shampoo, razors, laundry soap, coffee, cigs, sandwiches, and other mothering stuff. I am tired of being hit up for petty cash – small loan here, small loan there, hey lady got a dollar? And it is NOT just one or two people hitting me up. I can’t do it anymore, so I am done. This branch of the First National Bank of Mothers is now officially and permanently CLOSED.

So, Happy Mother’s Day!

As for me, I have passed my torch on to my daughter. She’s the mom now… I’m just grandma.