Cracked

After considerable self observation, the only logical alternative to the OCD diagnosis is a crack inside my head.  It is just a little crack located near the storage facility for short term memory, just wide enough for the memory of doing routine ordinary things to slip through and out, leaving me with no memory of doing whatever that stupid little thing was in the first place.  My repetitive behaviors are simply a matter of checking to make sure I did it.  Did I turn off the stove?  Shut the window?  Put out the candles?  Feed the cat?  Do this or do that?  So, I go back in and check two or three times…  or do another walk through before going to bed…  that’s not OCD.  That’s just a blip in short term memory, the mundane slipping through a crack.

As for sitting in the exact same spot every time I went to the psychologist’s office, that’s a common thing amongst tool & die makers.  Pull fifty journeymen into monthly safety meetings or whatever and odds are that most of them will choose to sit in the exact same chair that they sat in the last time they were there.  I used to take lunch orders at work.  Most journeymen expected to see the menu for this place on Monday, that place on Tuesday, etc.  And they usually ordered the same thing from the menu that they had ordered before.  The watcher in me, the natural born observer, always found that somewhat amusing.  Maybe it had something to do with having enough stuff to think about without having to remake mundane decisions like where to sit or what to eat over and over again.

Do I have repetitive behaviors?

No, not really.  Okay, so I do some things the same way I did them before and I double check to make sure I didn’t forget something, and maybe I should not read my medical charts online.  I have been thinking “huh?” ever since I saw that OCD diagnosis in my records.

I can’t remember if I have posted it before, but this is the art used for the background here…

De Rose

De Rose

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3 thoughts on “Cracked

  1. Love De Rose and it works really well as de background. As I’m always working backward in time through blogs I probably didn’t get to your OCD diagnosis yet..but I share your experience of people being territorial about seating. I can’t think of any repeated situation I’ve been in where people sit where they didn’t choose the same seat as previously, I think it’s a human trait. As an art teacher of adolescents I used to purposely mix up the class furniture, change it around or remove it altogether, just to disrupt the linear seating habit of the students…

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