Reality Check

I stepped on the scales today to give myself a reality check: down eight since New Years.

Okay, I was curious. The other day, I was talking to my mother and she said, “How much weight have you lost, another twenty?” Then before I could say it, she sing-songed my standard answer: “I don’t know.”

Yes, since I quit the diet-binge thing, I answer such questions with “I don’t know” and most of the time, I really don’t know.

Most people who ask are dieters. They are calorie counters or carb counters or into points, rules and more rules, all about control and willpower and the latest tidbit from their favorite nutritional guru on television. Eat this, don’t eat that, this way, that way… like whoa, serious information overload. Bottom line is usually a “this is what I’m doing and you should do it, too.”

No thanks… I’m not interested in dieting. That’s a merry-go-round ride to the secret dark world.

I heard that some people who give up bingeing take up overeating or start grazing. (FYI: that grazing thing is just a slow motion binge being sneaking, like taking a bite of something every time you walk in the kitchen until it is all gone whereas a binge is like eating all of it at once.) Right now, I am NOT bingeing and I am NOT grazing, but I am also NOT dieting… what if I am accidentally overeating now and then?

So, time for a reality check. Scales don’t lie… if I’m bingeing, grazing, or overeating, the numbers will go up. If I am just feeding myself like a “normal” person, the numbers will be stable or slowly go down.

It was good to see a lower number, but that is just evidence of living a binge-free life. Recovery is mind, body, and soul… a holistic thing, so I still have a long way to go. Thank you for listening.

4 thoughts on “Reality Check

  1. I haven’t been able to have a scale in my home since I was a teenager. My mother was the Crash Diet Queen and she crashed me right along with her on every one of the damn things until I had a full blown eating disorder by the time I was 15. 3 day diets, grapefruit diets, diets that involved shakes, pills or ewww…some grassy looking green stuff to drink. For every pound lost, another 5 were gained when the *miracle* diets ended. What a frickin’ roller coaster of insanity! It takes a huge toll both physically and mentally, at least it did on me.

    And while I was learning all the fad diets, I never learned how to eat properly with any kind of nutritional value in mind. Don’t even want to think about the long term damage done to my body…all just so that I could measure up to some invisible standard of what other people think I should be. I still don’t eat as well as I should but that I can enjoy food at all is a minor miracle so I’ll take it! 🙂

      • And I was worried after I commented that maybe I said too much! Other people’s expectations, nosiness and general *helpfulness* regarding my weight, my body, my eating have nearly driven me into the ground. At one point I was down to a little girls size 14..and only saw a fat woman. It is amazing what words can do to our self-perception, isn’t it?


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